Your brain is a powerful machine. But sometimes, it decides to waste that power on complete nonsense.
You know those moments when you’re lying in bed, and instead of falling asleep like a normal person, you’re wondering why we park on driveways but drive on parkways? Or calculating how many times you’ve said “you too” to a waiter who told you to enjoy your meal? Yeah, those moments.
Your mind has an incredible talent for latching onto things that matter exactly zero percent. And here’s the truth: we all do it. Every single one of us has spent precious mental energy on questions that have no answers, scenarios that will never happen, and details that literally no one else notices. But hey, at least you’re in good company.
Useless Things to Think about
We’re about to explore twenty gloriously pointless thoughts that your brain loves to obsess over. These won’t make you smarter, richer, or better at anything, but they’ll definitely make you feel seen.
1. Whether People From 100 Years Ago Would Recognize Your Job
Here’s something your brain loves to chew on at 2 AM: would someone from 1925 understand what you do for a living? If you’re a social media manager, podcast producer, or app developer, the answer is a hard no. Try explaining to your great-great-grandfather that you make money by posting photos of food on the internet. Good luck with that.
This thought spiral usually leads to wondering what jobs from today will sound equally ridiculous in 2125. Will “prompt engineer” make any sense? What about “influencer”? Your ancestors wouldn’t get it, and your descendants probably won’t either. But here you are, still thinking about it instead of finishing that report due tomorrow.
2. How Many Spiders You’ve Accidentally Eaten in Your Sleep
You’ve heard that myth about swallowing eight spiders a year while sleeping. It’s been debunked a thousand times. Scientists have confirmed it’s not true. Your logical brain knows this.
But does that stop you from thinking about it every time you wake up with a weird taste in your mouth? Absolutely not. You’ll still wonder if that slight tickle in your throat is morning dryness or the remnants of an eight-legged midnight snack. Spoiler alert: it’s always just morning dryness. You’re welcome.
3. What Your Pet Really Thinks of You
Does your dog actually love you, or are you just the tall thing that operates the food dispenser? When your cat stares at you from across the room, is it affection or calculated judgment? These questions haunt pet owners everywhere.
You could be in the middle of a crucial work presentation, and suddenly you’re wondering if Mr. Whiskers appreciates the premium cat food or secretly wishes you’d adopted someone else. The answer doesn’t change anything about your relationship with your pet. They’re still going to knock things off your counter. You’re still going to take 400 photos of them sleeping.
4. Whether You’ve Ever Been in the Background of Someone Else’s Photo
Think about every tourist you’ve walked past in your life. Every family is taking beach photos. Every couple getting engagement shots at that popular park. You’ve photobombed hundreds, maybe thousands, of pictures without knowing it.
Right now, there could be a photo album in someone’s house in another country with your face accidentally captured in the background. You’re frozen in time, mid-bite of a sandwich, existing in a stranger’s memories. They don’t know your name. They probably cropped you out. But technically, you’re there. Does this matter? Not even a little bit. Will you think about it anyway? Absolutely.
5. Why “Abbreviated” Is Such a Long Word
The irony keeps you up at night. A word that means “shortened” has ten letters and five syllables. Meanwhile, “long” only has four letters. “Brief” is five letters. Someone at the word factory messed up big time.
This leads to other linguistic betrayals. “Monosyllabic” has five syllables. “Phonetic” isn’t spelled the way it sounds. “Lisp” has an ‘s’ in it. Your brain files these away as evidence that language is a beautiful disaster, and you’re just living in it.
6. How Much Time You’ve Spent Waiting for Red Lights
Let’s do some useless math. If you drive fifteen minutes to work, you probably hit about five red lights. That’s roughly two minutes per day. Over a year, that’s about twelve hours of your life spent staring at a red circle, hoping it turns green.
Over a lifetime? Hundreds of hours. You could have learned a language, written a book, or become a decent pianist with that time. Instead, you’ve mastered the art of willing traffic lights to change through sheer mental force. It’s never worked, but you keep trying. That’s dedication.
7. Whether Everyone Sees Colors the Same Way
What if your blue is my green? What if we all agreed to call it “blue” but we’re all seeing completely different colors? This philosophical nightmare has plagued humans since someone first pointed at the sky and said, “Hey, nice blue up there.”
Science says we probably see colors roughly the same because of how our eyes work. But that doesn’t satisfy your brain. Because what if? What if everything you think is red looks like what someone else calls purple? You’ll never know. No one will ever know. And yet, you’ll keep thinking about it while stuck in traffic.
8. If Fish Know They’re Wet
This one hits different. Fish spend their entire lives in water. Do they know they’re wet? Do they have any concept of “dry”? It’s like asking if you know you’re surrounded by air at all times. You technically are, but you don’t really think about it.
When a fish jumps out of the water, does it have a moment of existential crisis? “Oh no, everything I knew was wrong!” Or does it just think, “This is weird” and flop back in? You’ll never get this answer from a fish. They’re too busy swimming around, possibly wondering if humans know they’re surrounded by air. Fair play to them.
9. The Number of Times You’ve Locked Eyes With Someone You’ll Never See Again
Every day, you make brief eye contact with dozens of strangers. The person behind you in line. Someone walking their dog. The driver in the next lane. For a split second, you acknowledge each other’s existence, and then you both disappear from each other’s lives forever.
Some of those people might remember you for a few seconds. “That person was wearing a funny shirt.” Most forget you immediately. But somewhere out there, you’re someone’s memory of “that random person I saw at the grocery store that one Tuesday.” You’re a background character in thousands of life stories. Does this change anything? No. Will you think about it while brushing your teeth tonight? Probably.
10. Why We Say “Heads Up” When We Actually Mean “Duck”
If someone yells “heads up,” the last thing you should do is lift your head up. You should duck. Get your head down. The phrase means the opposite of what it says.
We also say “What’s up?” when we don’t actually want to know what’s physically above someone. “How are you?” rarely gets an honest answer. Language is full of these weird contradictions that don’t matter at all but will occupy your thoughts while you’re supposed to be listening to someone explain their weekend plans.
11. Whether You’ve Used Every Letter on Your Keyboard Equally
Look at your keyboard right now. The ‘E’ is probably more worn than the ‘Q.’ The space bar has seen some action. But what about ‘X’ or ‘Z’? Those letters are barely getting any screen time.
Your keyboard is a physical record of your typing habits. Certain letters carry your life’s story more than others. ‘A’ has worked overtime. ‘Q’ is basically retired. Does this information help you in any way? Not at all. But next time you’re typing, you’ll notice it. You’re welcome for that.
12. If Déjà Vu Means You’re Finally on the Right Path
You’ve felt it. That eerie sensation that you’ve lived this exact moment before. Same room, same people, same conversation. Your brain insists this is familiar, even though logically you know it’s the first time.
Some people think déjà vu means you’re on the right timeline. Like there are multiple versions of your life, and this feeling is confirmation you’re making the correct choices. Science says it’s just a weird glitch in how your brain processes new experiences. But the mystical explanation is way more fun to think about at 3 AM when you can’t sleep. Maybe you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. Or maybe your brain just hiccupped. Both options are equally useless to ponder.
13. How Much Money You’ve Spent on Things You’ve Forgotten About
Go ahead, try to remember what you bought on April 17th, 2019. You can’t. No one can. But you definitely bought something that day. Lunch, probably. Maybe some random item from a drugstore. You handed over money, got something in return, and your brain immediately deleted the memory to make room for more important things like song lyrics from 1997.
Over your lifetime, you’ve made thousands of purchases you’ll never remember. Small transactions that seemed important at the time but vanished from your memory within hours. That money is gone. You have no idea where it went. And thinking about it now won’t bring it back. But here you are, thinking about it anyway.
14. Whether Any Of Your Decisions Would Matter In 200 Years
In two centuries, will anyone remember that time you stressed about which job offer to accept? Or that argument you had about where to eat dinner? Or that embarrassing thing you said in eighth grade? The answer is overwhelmingly no.
Everything that feels massive and life-altering right now will be forgotten. Your great-great-great-grandchildren won’t know about your bad haircut phase or that time you tripped in front of everyone at the mall. History won’t record your daily anxieties. This thought should be freeing. Instead, your brain uses it as a launching pad to worry about whether anything matters at all. Thanks, brain. Super helpful.
15. Why Round Pizzas Come in Square Boxes
Someone made a decision decades ago that square boxes are easier to manufacture, store, and transport than round ones. This makes perfect sense from a logistics standpoint. Square boxes stack better. They’re cheaper to produce. Mystery solved.
But your brain doesn’t care about practical answers. It wants to focus on the absurdity of putting round food in square containers. Why not triangular boxes for variety? Who decided this? When? These questions have answers you could easily find online, but you never actually look them up. You just keep wondering about it every time you order pizza.
16. If You’re Currently Living in the “Good Old Days” That You’ll Remember Later
Twenty years from now, you’ll probably look back at today with nostalgia. You’ll say things like, “Remember when gas was only that expensive?” or “Back in 2025, we used to…”
Right now feels normal. Maybe even mundane. You’re probably waiting for life to start getting really good. But what if this is it? What if these are the days you’ll someday wish you could return to? It’s a weird thought that makes you look at your current Tuesday afternoon with slightly different eyes. Not different enough to change anything, but different enough to make you pause while microwaving leftovers.
17. How Many People Are Thinking About You Right Now
At this exact second, someone might be thinking about you. Maybe a friend is about to text you. Maybe an old classmate just remembered that funny thing you said years ago. Maybe someone is telling a story that involves you.
Or maybe no one is thinking about you at all. Maybe you’re completely absent from everyone’s thoughts right now, and that’s fine. You’re reading this instead of occupying space in someone else’s mind. Does it matter either way? Not really. But your ego wants to know the answer anyway. Sorry, your ego. This mystery remains unsolved.
18. Whether Silence Actually Has a Sound
When everything goes quiet, you hear something. A ringing. A buzz. A weird pressure in your ears. Is that the sound of silence, or is true silence something you’ve never actually experienced? Maybe you’ve always been surrounded by some level of noise and your brain fills in the gaps when things get too quiet.
Philosophers and scientists have thoughts on this. Your brain has thoughts on this too, usually right when you’re trying to fall asleep and suddenly every tiny sound becomes deafening. The refrigerator humming. The house settling. Your own heartbeat. You wanted silence. You got existential questions about the nature of sound instead.
19. The Exact Moment When You Became “Too Old” For Certain Things
There was a day, a specific day, when you rode a playground swing for the last time as a kid. You didn’t know it was the last time. You just got off the swing and never got back on. Same with sleeping with stuffed animals, trick-or-treating, or playing with action figures.
These transitions happened without ceremony. No one announced, “This is it. Your last time doing this childhood thing.” You just gradually aged out of activities and moved on. Somewhere in your past are dozens of “last times” you never recognized. This realization hits you randomly, usually when you’re supposed to be focusing on something important. Suddenly you’re sad about playground swings and you’re not even sure why.
20. If Your Life So Far Would Make a Good Movie
Would people watch a movie about your life? What would they skip? The boring parts, probably. That’s most of it. Two-hour movies cover years of someone’s life, which means they cut out all the mundane stuff like commuting, doing laundry, and scrolling through your phone.
If your life was a movie, you’re currently living through a scene that would probably end up on the cutting room floor. This moment right now, reading this article, might not make the final cut. Only the dramatic stuff makes it in. The rest is just… life. Regular, ordinary life. Which is somehow both comforting and mildly depressing to think about while you’re living it.
Wrapping Up
Your brain is a magnificent, ridiculous thing. It can solve complex problems, create beautiful art, and ponder the mysteries of the universe. It can also spend twenty minutes wondering whether penguins have knees.
The thoughts we’ve covered here serve absolutely no practical purpose. They won’t help you advance your career, improve your relationships, or achieve your goals. But they’re part of being human. We all think useless thoughts. We all get stuck in mental loops about things that don’t matter.
Next time you catch yourself spiraling into one of these pointless ponderings, just smile and let it happen. You’re not wasting brain power. You’re just being beautifully, absurdly human. And honestly? That’s kind of perfect.